831mixtapes

One day, you will see how Happiness can be bought.
With the colours of difference, the flickers of anger, and the brief dilemmas.
You will see that happiness is not priceless after all.
It only takes a moment more than time,
More than a canvas of acceptance, a ray of appeasement, a lasting hope.

All it takes is a moment more than time.

Written, spoken, felt.

Wrote to tell you how i feel.
Where we stand now, Its nobody's choice.

We're done with this piece now. 

very often people remark on the busy schedule (tactful or not),
and i honestly dont know how to respond,
should i be worried that it would affect our relationship?
should i be thankful that she cares?
should i be frustrated at the lack of understanding?
should i be annoyed at how its not that neither of us are really that busy but our schedules just clash?
or should i just be sorry and apologize?

i'd be -- speechless.

i think of one word -- change.







Clicks,
i think back at the times where we used t chill after school, get ready for training, slog it out, and head t banquet for tomyum yong tau foo, after which we'd take the bus home together.
i think back at the times where we'd head t RP late at night with the "pigs" to have dinner/study.
i think back at how we never never never ever failed t plan a celebration for each others' birthdays no matter how busy our lives were: Suntec fountain, marina square picnic, void deck restaurant, sparklers, cakes, ferris wheel, seasons of love recording..
Stayovers, heart to heart talks, baking, cooking, basketball.
i think back at how we had our new years countdown together, how i would always miss christmas eve but would always call back to all three of you from wherever i was.
how every chinese new year, we'd start from my place, to gina's and then to wen feng's mahjong den.
how ani burnt her specially bought curry during hari raya.. and how feng always finishes the tapioca chips whilst i feast on kueh makmur, if any. (:
i rem our topshells w chilli padi and lime, and your mum's maggi mee.
i remember 25 Nov 2005.

CJ Netballers
i remember how we started as strangers, complete ignorance. superficial HIs and BYEs.
then came gruelling trainings (stairs, intervals, aft sch runs), after training dinners, and our truly unforgettable BBQ @ pras's.
then came the craze!
we went t sentosa after school for runs, had v v enjoyable dinners, made fun of bimbodian, lin huahua, peng, smelly carmen, MCMF, (omg guilan! heeheehee)
targeted the old turkey heehee (but felt bad for it okay! sometimes!)
rem when she said "defenders raise your hands!" and because BIMBOdian started raising her hands everyone just followed? when she actually meant "3-ft-handsup!" HAHA
of course, how can we forget making those styrafoam netballs for open house & our mambo night at camp! (heehee)
Best of all, who could let go of the memories of nationals 2008 -- the adrenaline rush after the victory game against VJC. 

Those were the days..

There are so so so so many memories that i will never let go off.

A level study group, how the 7 of us went on a getaway trip t Malaysia in the middle of our A levels period (HAHA)
how we would bring random food cos we lazy t go out t buy food etc
how we just bummed around slacking chilling, playing music, singing, sleepovers, movies all & just be v contented w the company of us 7!
our song:
".. partying is a part of life but living is for all our lives"
our big big blown up prom family picture together (:

T4,
i think back at the times we skipped classes & instead climbed over gates and sprinted past the camera just t get donuts in town.
i think back at how we would sit together for breaks and head to the grandstand t play ball, chit chat, or fly around like lil aeroplanes.

i think back at the times we laugh at the grandmother panties we found on the floor after training only to crumble on the floor later when SOMEONE actually owned up.

i think back at the time we sneaked bestie over & disguised her in our uniform just t have night study together.

2G,
i think back at the times we painted the world map on the floor for Mdm Rahimah, only to be late or miss the rest of her lessons and all (right, crazy famfam? )
i remember POF (petals of faith), the camp and how we ate mint timeouts in the chapel (omg, so, horrible)
oh or how we bought green peas from the vending machine and stayed in school till late - tossing em up and catching them in our mouths.
those amazing, amazing cheap thrills (:

And moving even further on to primary school,
who could forget us buying blue coral bubble tea from "toa towkay"
secretly going to the apparently haunted playground behind the "sacred heart"
buying the awesome ikan bilis with curry sauce,
playing freeze and melt, pepsi cola etc at the canteen,
making quick errands at the book shop cos we were so afraid of the fierce bookshop aunty.
buying knick knacks from the whats that called, junction 171? i forgot, that minimart with all the colourful ice popsicles :D
best of all, our happy action-packed hymn singing sessions with Mrs Drysdale:

"if i were a butterfly, i thank you Lord for giving me wings.
and if i were a fish in the sea, i thank you Lord that i can swim
or if i were a grizzly bear, i thank you Lord for my grizzly hair,
but i just thank you Father for making me -- me.

cos you gave me a heart,
and you gave me a smile;
you gave me Jesus and you made me child;
so i just thank you Father for making me -- me."

i cant believe i still remember them.

---

we all have these vivid memories within us that we would keep for a lifetime, even as we're building greater, newer ones.
personally, i miss all of that.
and the harsh truth (i realised) is that these, as beautiful as it seems, will only remain a memory.
okay, maybe not ONLY a memory, but good enough a memory (:

so to everyone who's touched my life in one way or another,

Thank you.
i'll always, always treasure such worthwhile, magical moments.





& As we grow up and face inevitable challenges in life,

I hope we all take the time to live.

Love always,
Anne.